As a mental health professional, it is not uncommon for me to hear clients express feelings of guilt and frustration when they are struggling to control their emotions and actions towards loved ones. It can be particularly difficult when someone close to us does things that we perceive as “bad” or “wrong”, and our instinctive response is to lash out in anger or criticism.
If you find yourself feeling terrible all the time and struggling to control your anger towards someone who listens and chooses to do bad things, it is important to understand that these emotions are valid, but they do not have to control your behavior. It is possible to channel these feelings in a more constructive way, with the help of some practical strategies and a willingness to engage in self-reflection.
The first step is to acknowledge and accept your emotions. You may feel guilty or ashamed about your anger and the way you have been treating the other person, but these feelings are a natural response to the situation. It is important to give yourself permission to feel these emotions, rather than trying to suppress or deny them.
Once you have accepted your emotions, it is time to take a step back and reflect on the situation. Ask yourself why the other person’s behavior is upsetting you so much. Is it because you feel a sense of responsibility for their actions? Do you feel like they are not living up to your expectations? Understanding your underlying emotions and motivations can help you identify more productive ways to respond.
Next, try to communicate in a calm and respectful manner. Rather than yelling or criticizing, try to approach the conversation with a sense of empathy and understanding. Listen to the other person’s perspective and try to find common ground. Instead of focusing on what they are doing wrong, focus on how you can work together to find solutions.
It may also be helpful to explore your own mental health and well-being. If you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it can be difficult to control your emotions and respond to others in a constructive way. Consider seeking support from a mental health professional or exploring self-care strategies to manage stress and build resilience.
Remember, it is never too late to change your behavior and improve your relationships. With a willingness to reflect, communicate, and seek support, you can learn to manage your emotions and respond to others in a more positive and constructive way.